ERMA BOMBECK 1927-1996: 'A WONDERFUL FRIEND'                       WRITER GOT HER START IN DAYTONDATE: Tuesday, April 23, 1996  By D.L. Stewart and Anne Gasior DAYTON DAILY NEWS                          DAYTON DAILY NEWS                   Copyright (c) 1996, Dayton Newspapers Inc.   Dayton's Erma Bombeck, whose greatest tributes hang on refrigerator doors throughout the world, died Monday following a long battle with polycystic kidney disease that culminated in a kidney transplant. She was 69.   Mrs. Bombeck died at 6:20 a.m. EDT at the University of California-San Francisco Hospital. Dr. Martin Amend, a member of the team that performed the kidney transplant on April 3, said there had been many complications since thetransplant.   The kidney never functioned on its own and Mrs. Bombeck remained dependent on dialysis. But Amend said he was hopeful the kidney would kick in within thenext few weeks.   Several days after the surgery, Mrs. Bombeck was back in the operating roombecause of bleeding. She had several blood transfusions and also developed pneumonia.   Still, on Sunday Mrs. Bombeck seemed to be doing well. She visited with herfamily and was alert.   "She was weak but comfortable, and I was cautiously optimistic,' Amend said. `I had a long life discussion with her family over the weekend and told them her biggest gift was not to others but to her family. Her mother was hereand was sharing a lot of the old Dayton stories with me."   But then, early Monday morning, "her condition took a rather disastrous course," he said. "In patients who have fought so hard and been through so much, I sometimes say they just lost their reserve. There is only so much medicine can do."   Mrs. Bombeck had a rapid decline of blood pressure and heart function that led to heart failure.   Mrs. Bombeck had polycystic kidney disease, a virulent hereditary illness that attacks various body organs, causing cysts to form within them. Bombeck'sfather, who died when she was a child, also had the disease, as do many of herDayton-area relatives. Mrs. Bombeck had been on home dialysis since July 1993,and one of her kidneys was removed on July 1, 1995. She had been on a transplant waiting list for three years. Previously, she had been diagnosed with breast cancer and had a mastectomy in 1992.   Despite her illnesses, Mrs. Bombeck continued to write her internationally syndicated humor column right up to the time of her transplant. Her last original column ran April 16 and was about Betty Crocker.   Her sudden death was a shock for those closest to her.   "We all knew there was a risk, not so much of death, but that it (the kidney) would not function," said William Shover, director of public affairs for Phoenix Newspapers Inc., who has known Mrs. Bombeck for 25 years. "God, this is a blow."   In Dayton, a legion of friends and fans mourned.   "She was so up, so enthusiastic that everything would work out," said Shirley Fleischman, who visited with Mrs. Bombeck in Arizona just before her transplant. "She was a wonderful friend and a great listener."   Perhaps it was those qualities that made her column so beloved by millions of fans in more than a dozen countries from Ireland to Australia. For 32 years, she wrote about family life and everyday issues.   ``I like to imagine that after a person has read our waters are polluted, the world is in flames, streets are crime-ridden, drugs are rampant, she'll read about how the dryer returns only one sock to me from every two I put in and I tell my kids, `The other one went to live with Jesus,' and maybe smile,"Mrs. Bombeck said in a 1990 Dayton Daily News  interview.   Mrs. Bombeck was born in Dayton on Feb. 21, 1927, to Erma and Cassius Fiste. Her father died when she was 9, and two years later her mother married Albert Harris, who became a second father to Erma. Mrs. Bombeck graduated fromEmerson Junior High School and Patterson Vocational High School. After enrolling briefly at Ohio University, where a guidance counselor advised her to ``forget about writing,'' she attended the University of Dayton and graduated in 1949 with a bachelor's degree in English.   While at UD, she searched for spiritual guidance, converted to Catholicism,wrote columns for the college magazine and met her future husband, William Bombeck, whom she married after graduation. Bill, a high school teacher, went on to become the principal at Roth High School. They had three children: Betsy, who was adopted in 1953; Andrew, born in 1955; and Matt, born in 1958. The Bombeck family lived in Centerville and then in Bellbrook before moving toParadise Valley, Ariz., in 1971.   In her adopted desert home, Bombeck was very generous, contributing time and money to a number of charitable organizations.   But though she moved away, Mrs. Bombeck always kept a piece of her heart inDayton. She served on the board of trustees at the University of Dayton from 1984-1987, and spoke at many campus events, including a writers' workshop.   Writing was something Mrs. Bombeck could certainly talk about. She began her journalism career in 1944 with the Dayton Journal  as a copy girl. She worked as a reporter at the Journal Herald  after graduating from college, butit wasn't until 1964, when she was hired by the Kettering-Oakwood Times , thatshe began to write about family life. The column was called "Zone 59," a reference to the zip code of her home on Cushwa Drive in Centerville. She was paid $3 a week for it.   In 1965, Journal Herald  editor Glenn Thompson offered her $50 to write twocolumns a week, and she began writing At Wit's End, wry observations on motherhood and household events. Reflecting on disappearing socks, septic tanks and "waxy yellow buildup" propelled Mrs. Bombeck from a local column into national syndication. Three weeks after it was first published in Dayton,the column was picked up by the Newsday Newspaper Syndicate and was reprinted in 38 newspapers. Within five years it appeared in 500 papers. At her peak, itappeared in 900 newspapers and had an estimated 30 million readers.   She wrote, co-wrote and contributed to at least 15 books even after she began giving herself home dialysis four times a day. She was a regular on GoodMorning America  for 11 years. She is a member of the Ohio Women's Hall of Fame, holds dozens of honorary degrees, including an honorary doctor of humaneletters from the University of Dayton, and has been named to Good Housekeepingmagazine's list of the world's most admired women. In 1984, she was the subject of a Time magazine cover story.   But her greatest honor was a faithful readership that clipped her columns and taped them to their refrigerator doors so they could re-read her wit and wisdom.   ``I would rather hang from a 100 refrigerator doors than in the Louvre,'' she said in a 1990 interview.   Her innate and irrepressible sense of humor made it all happen. But, as sheliked to point out: "Humor is like a Chinese dinner. People can't remember it two minutes after they've laughed."   Perhaps that was not the case with Mrs. Bombeck, whose humor seemed to endure.   "She was twice as funny in conversation as in her columns and books," said Brother Raymond L. Fitz, president of UD and a longtime friend of Mrs. Bombeck's. "Her humor always made us, in some sense, realize the frailty of our human life. At the same time, she could raise criticisms of institutions (in society). She had a good sense of social justice and the role of women in society."   It was that wisdom and sensitivity in her writing that separated her from the Erma "wannabes" who appeared in countless local newspapers. One of her columns that drew the most public response, in fact, was a Mother's Day columnthat paid tribute to the mothers of handicapped children.   "The mail came by the box full," she said of that column. "None of the humorous columns ever approached that."   Still, it was the humor in her columns and books that brought Mrs. Bombeck fame and gave her the most satisfaction.   "Anybody can make you cry," she told a biographer in 1992. "But laughter, that's much more difficult."SUCCESS: Writer won many awards   Erma Bombeck holds 15 honorary degrees. In addition to her real degree (a bachelor's from the University of Dayton in 1949), she also received an honorary degree from UD in 1981.   In 1969 she received the Headliner Award from Theta Sigma Phi, the professional society for women in journalism and communications.   In 1977, she received the Governor's Award for service to mankind from OhioGov. James Rhodes.   Also, in 1978, she was named one of the "25 most influential women in America," according to a survey of the 125 newspapers that cosponsor the publication of the World Almanac. Source: Who's Who in AmericaTIMELINEHighlights of Bombeck's life* Feb. 21, 1927 - Erma Louise Fiste born in Dayton.* 1944 - Worked at the Dayton Journal as a copy girl.* 1949 - Graduated from University of Dayton and went to work at the Journal Herald , writing obituaries and women's page stories.* Aug. 13, 1949 - Erma Fiste marries William Lawrence Bombeck, a former JH sportswriter and school teacher. * 1953 - Quit her job after her first child, Betsy, was adopted. Later has two other children: Andrew and Matthew.* 1964 - Begins writing a humor column for the Kettering-Oakwood Times.* 1965 - Hired by the Journal Herald to write two columns a week. Within weeksher column is syndicated.* 1967 - Publishes her first book, At Wit's End . She went on to write many others.* 1971 - Moves from Dayton area to Paradise Valley, Ariz.* 1992 - Diagnosed with breast cancer and undergoes modified radical mastectomy.* July 1993 - Erma goes on dialysis after her kidneys stop functioning as a result of polycystic kidney disease.* June 1995 - Undergoes surgery to remove one of her non-functioning kidneys.* April 3, 1996 - Has kidney transplant.* April 22, 1996 - Dies from complications following transplant.Source: Dayton Daily News files